One thing I have become more comfortable admitting is that there are a lot of things I do not know yet.
I am still early in my career. I have worked in customer-facing jobs, spent time in automotive sales, studied business, and now I am working with my father on developing a business. Every one of those experiences has put me around people who know more than I do about something.
When I was younger, I think I viewed experience mostly as a matter of time. Someone had been doing something for 20 years, so naturally I assumed they had 20 years of lessons to give me.
I still respect experience, but I look at it a little differently now.
I pay attention to what people actually do. I listen to what they say, but I also watch how they make decisions, how they deal with people, and especially how they respond when something does not go according to plan.
I have realized that learning from someone does not mean copying them. It means figuring out what they understand that I do not and deciding what I can take from it.
I Pay Attention to How People Handle Problems
It is easy to look impressive when everything is going well.
I think you learn more about someone when there is a problem.
When I am around someone with more experience, I pay attention to what happens when a plan changes or something goes wrong. Do they immediately get frustrated? Do they blame somebody? Do they slow down and figure out what actually happened?
That interests me because I have had to work on my own response to setbacks.
When I worked in automotive sales, I remember losing a sale and feeling frustrated. Instead of just moving on, I walked myself back through the interaction. I tried to understand where things changed and what I could have done differently.
When the next customer came in, I changed my approach and made the sale.
That was a small experience, but it changed how I think about mistakes. Now, when I see someone experienced deal with a difficult situation, I am interested in the process behind the response.
What are they noticing that I am not noticing? Why are they asking that particular question? Why are they not reacting as quickly as I expected?
Sometimes the lesson is in what someone does not do.
I Try to Ask Questions With a Purpose
There is a difference between asking questions and asking useful questions.
I am still learning that.
When you are new to something, sometimes you do not even know enough to ask the right question. I have experienced that while working with my father to develop our business and research manufacturers.
At first, you can ask broad questions. How much does something cost? Can a manufacturer produce what you need? How long does it take?
Then you learn more, and your questions change.
You start thinking about reliability, quantities, communication, quality, and what happens when there is a problem. One answer creates another question.
When I am learning from someone more experienced, I try not to ask questions just to make conversation. I want to understand why they made a certain decision.
That is usually more useful to me than simply asking what they did.
If someone tells me, “I chose this option,” I know the outcome. If I understand what they considered before choosing it, I have something I might be able to apply to a completely different situation.
My Parents Have Influenced How I Think About Experience
My mother and father have been two of the biggest influences in my life.
Some of what I have learned from them has come from direct advice. A lot of it has come from watching.
That distinction matters to me.
People do not always sit you down and explain the lesson you are supposed to learn from them. Sometimes you notice how they approach responsibilities, how they treat other people, or how they keep going when something becomes difficult.
Working with my father on a business has made this more obvious.
We are dealing with real decisions instead of hypothetical business ideas. We have to research manufacturers, compare options, and decide what deserves more attention. I get to see how he approaches those questions, but I also have to develop my own judgment.
That creates an interesting balance.
I respect his experience. At the same time, I do not think the goal is for me to become an exact copy of him. I need to understand why something works and decide how it fits the person I am becoming.
I Do Not Automatically Take Every Piece of Advice
This might sound strange in an article about learning from experienced people, but I do not think experience means someone is automatically right about everything.
That is something I have had to think about.
If someone has been successful, it is tempting to assume their way is the right way. But their circumstances might have been completely different. The market could have changed. Their personality may allow them to do something that would not work naturally for me.
Even two successful people can give opposite advice.
So what do you do with that?
I try to listen first. Then I think about the reasoning behind the advice.
Does it make sense for my situation? Is there evidence behind it? Is the person speaking from direct experience, or are they repeating something they heard somewhere else?
I do not want to reject advice because I disagree with it immediately. I also do not want to follow advice without thinking simply because the person giving it has a longer résumé than I do.
Some judgment has to be involved.
I Watch How People Treat Others
Another thing I notice is how experienced people interact with people who cannot immediately do anything for them.
That tells me a lot.
Sales taught me that people respond differently depending on how they feel they are being treated. Customers can usually tell when someone is listening and when someone is simply waiting for a chance to talk.
I think the same thing applies outside of sales.
Someone can know a lot about business and still not be someone I want to learn from closely. If their success requires treating people poorly, that matters to me.
I want to learn from people whose results I respect, but I also pay attention to how they got those results.
Eventually, I Have to Test the Lesson Myself
There is a limit to how much I can learn by watching other people.
Eventually, I have to do something.
That is probably the biggest thing I have learned about learning itself. Advice can save you from certain mistakes, but it cannot give you somebody else’s experience.
You still have to make decisions. You still have to talk to the customer. You still have to deal with the outcome when something does not work.
I used to think being prepared meant knowing what to do before entering a situation. Now I think preparation can also mean being willing to adjust once you are in it.
The people I learn the most from give me ways to think, not just instructions to follow.
At this point in my life, that is what I am looking for.
I want to be around people who make me notice things I would have missed, ask better questions, and think more carefully about my decisions.
Then I have to take those lessons and find out what actually works for me.